Getting into the groove

While this week has brought about quite a few changes, I feel like the luckiest person on the planet. On the short list...I've discovered I'm a Chic-fil-A chick more than a Starbucks chick. The backdrop as I type this is soft Christian music, a sweet group of older men having coffee and catching up, a group of young professional men finishing up a Bible study, a Police officer who (by the sound of things) is at least a second generation officer but knows everyone in Chic-fil-A, wonderful diversity and a staff who acts like this is their calling in life.  And the ice cold sweet tea and hot oatmeal aren't bad either!  Although I think I just overheard that I'm in some one's regular seat.  Oops!

Fred is doing well and making headway with some things that have been on his list for a while.

Logan is getting better regarding a few different things.

Freddie started school this week and is loving it.  We were even early this morning...wonders never cease!

And....it's just after 8am.

Wow.  What a difference a little time can make!

I can't figure out where to start to even begin to recap our lives for the past month or so.

We'll start with Logan.  I can't begin anything without saying what a precious child he is...every day.  Even when he is dealing with something that is less than pleasant...let's face it, flat out miserable...he can flash the most loving smile through tears and instantly make the world a better place.  I can't believe he's ours!

Since early July he has been having issues with the skin on his tummy around his little feeding tube button.  We tried topical remedies as well as a couple of different oral antibiotics, after we found out we were dealing with a yeast infection and a bacterial infection. After all of that and finally changing out his little button (we are only given a certain number a year), he is better. We realized also that it was likely caused by the previous button he had in.  It leaked all the time!  But now we are back on track with that and are just dealing with the normal poop and teeth issues!  You didn't think I would actually get through an entire post without talking about poop did you? 

We've also started bolusing his feeds.  While this may not seem like a big deal, it feels huge to us!  This means he is not on the pump anymore.  We just gravity feed his food into him and he seems to be tolerating it really well.  The way we figured out to try this?  The pump wouldn't work.  Just like the way we decided to increase the rate of his feeds....I did it by mistake once and he loved it.  Sometimes that's the only way God can get his point across...to me at least.  But I heard Him this time!

Logan has also still been having seizures, but they are still mild and only at night during sleep.  Either way, we are not thrilled to see these back. I had to call our neurologist so they are aware of what is going on, but I went ahead and told them what I did and did not want them to tell me. Anytime you call your doctor with increased seizures, increased medication comes into play.  This time though, with our sweet doctor....yes, I am referring to a neurologist as sweet...they listened and we will just monitor him without increasing anything.  Whew!  We're learning how this all works, even if it is at a snail's pace! 

Other than that he is doing so well!  He is the happiest, sweetest, most loving child.  He and Miss Jodie have such a special relationship and routine and I hope that never changes.  I know never is a long time, but she is such a blessing to us and to him.  They are such great buddies! I'll also try and post the video of him walking.  He's screaming through the whole thing, but he stands now and walks with assistance. They're small steps, but they are steps in the right direction.  I always try and keep myself somewhere in the middle of excited for his progress knowing God has the power to make anything happen and grounded in the reality of our daily life....but seeing him make this kind of progress sure does tip the scales!  He is one amazing little soul.

Now for Freddie.  The summer has been great, spending time with each other, getting together with friends, enjoying the pool and taking a few small trips.  I wouldn't trade it for anything and am glad I was able to spend the time with him. Not sure if I mentioned this in the last post, but we canceled the cable and honestly have never looked back. Freddie doesn't really seem to miss it at all and surprisingly neither do I.  What that means though is that some of the toys and things (Thomas videos) get quite a bit of use....and thus become quite boring after a while.  So we had reached the point where everyone was getting frustrated!  Freddie seemed almost mad the last week and we couldn't really figure out why.  The only thing I could come up with was that he was extremely bored.  While I was a bit nervous and somewhat anxious about school starting, we truly felt like it was going to really change things for him. We could not have known how true that would be!

He loves school!  Seems excited about it, comfortable with it, ready to go each day and he seems different overall.  I know I sound crazy saying this, but since Fred and Nana agree with me at least I'm not crazy by myself...he's already more independent! He seems almost calmer, more focused, wants to do things on his own, listens better, is more polite and overall happier. It is truly what I had always hoped school would be for him!  I realize we are barely two full days in...but so what. I'm going to enjoy every single second of everything, because now I understand the phrase 'he is growing up before our eyes'. 

The first day of the drop off, I was a bit overwhelmed.  I said to him, "Freddie, is this right?  I don't know what we're doing?" He looked at me, smile and said, "We'll just keep trying Mama."  I teared up at that, not when I dropped him off!  And last night before he fell asleep, one of the last things he said to me was "Mama, I just love you so much I'm gonna pop open!"  Could a Mama's heart be any more full?!?!

So now that I've made it through three days of morning drop off, I'm feeling a little more confident.  Freddie on the other hand, has handled every bit of it like a pro.  I learn so much from him.

On the way home yesterday he asked me if we go to heaven...our bodies and our heads. As my eyes began to bug out of my head, I was trying to figure out how in the world to answer that. When it comes to thinking I don't have the simplest of brains.  I can easily over-analyze and over-explain almost anything.  I've tried, especially having a house full of boys, to tone that down some.  But how was I supposed to answer that question from a four year old when I can't adequately answer it for an adult?  Whether right or wrong I brought up the idea of our souls and that our bodies are just for use while we are alive here and our souls are what go on to live in Heaven with Jesus. Then he asked if Jesus was going to come back to earth and if he comes here when we die?  I think I could handle the birds and bees better from a four year old than this line of questioning.  I did the best I could however and made a mental note to get to studying my Bible....which I should be doing anyway.  If this continues, like the discussion we often have on the highway about why speed limits are higher on big roads, then I need to be a little more prepared.

Anyone reading this who wants to offer advice on the above paragraph....feel free! I'm going to need all the help I can get!

Life feels so full...in many ways. Good ways.

I honestly never thought I would be the stay-at-home mom in the car line at school picking up my little one looking for volunteer opportunities at his school, but it feels like exactly where I'm supposed to be.

And I never expected to be the mom in the health department waiting room picking up special formula for my 2 year old or the one who knew as much as we now know about the local children's hospital....but it feels like exactly where I'm supposed to be.

And I never dreamed we would own our own business and have a group of employees and customers who truly feel like family....but it feels like exactly where we're supposed to be.

There are no guarantees in life, but there is so much we can do with each and every minute. It's our choice and although I know that everything in life is a choice, it's like I'm realizing it for the first time.  Some choices we make are good and some are bad, but they are all our choices to make.

I am humbled at our life and I feel a little guilty for all that we have been given - our family, our health, the opportunities to provide all that we can imagine for our children.  But, I'm trying to use it for God's glory and share all that he has blessed us with. 

We take everything one day at a time and that seems to make life so much richer!  Trying to savor every moment for what it is....good or bad.  It's the amazing power that God gives us and I am more thankful every day.

Happy Friday!!