Need to BELIEVE

For whatever reason I am struggling with this surgery for Logan tomorrow. 

I understand the benefits we hope for.

I understand that I should not have searched online for any stories. 

I understand that with everything there are risks. 

I understand that we don't have many options left.

But as a mama, and today more than usual, I just want to leave my baby whole. Untouched. In the beautiful and precious state he is in sitting beside me right now. 

I just don't want to take a chance. A chance that it might work and a chance that....anything else may happen.

So please, as you've done so many times before...help me believe.  

Help me believe that this is right and good and exactly what he needs.

Help me believe that even though I can't explain to him in a way he will understand what is going to happen, that he still knows I only want what is best for him.

Help me believe that the surgeons and nurses truly want what is best for my little boy. 

Help me believe that we are taking a step in the direction of improving Logan's quality of life.

Help me believe again, that believing is enough...even if we don't have all the answers.

Amen.