Enough to go around

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not very competitive.  In a team setting that is.  Don't get me wrong, I'll play hard and fight for the win....I'll cheer my team on and rejoice in the victory, but I always feel bad for the losing team.  I would love a world where everyone "gets" to win at some point.

But we don't learn anything that way.  Losing is part of life.  Winning is also part of life, if you work for it.  No one should be given a victory.

I'm in a wonderfully strange place in my life.  I feel more grounded and connected to the world around me than I ever have.  No doubt my age plays a huge role.

But I also feel at odds with much of the world around me.  Everyone is preaching love, yet actions still speak louder than words.  Love these days feels very conditional, unless the conditions are right and then it feels genuine.

It also feels that disagreements and differing opinions are grounds for media movements and major competitions where page views and "likes" are what win the game.

We work so hard at being individuals that we feel alone, thus creating a scenario where we have to find others like us that will join us and create a group of people that will think like us, then we want to change the world to be like us.

Then what?  We want to celebrate individuality when in reality we are just designing more boxes to fit people into.

It's October.  A month where we celebrate, fight for and show support to those wonderfully brave fighters of breast cancer.  I know more women currently fighting, celebrating being survivors and those who were not winners on this earth than I ever thought possible.  They deserve all the support, encouragement and research that we can give them.

September was pediatric cancer awareness month.  There are no words for what the families of children battling cancer are going through.  And there are even less words for those families who had to say goodbye to their precious little ones too soon.  How is that ever, ever ok?

And then there is my son.  My precious, innocent little boy who is in his 5th year of life yet still is unable to walk or talk.  Run and play with his brother, or even tell his mama and daddy how much he loves them.  Who still has seizures every day that affect every single part of his life.  They rob him of so much that we take for granted.

We know he loves us and we hope he knows how much he is loved.  But the words just are not there. My prayers are a little different these days.  Instead of praying for him to be able to speak, I pray to be able to hear him.  He's in there.  He is trying with everything in his sweet body to tell us....to tell us everything.  But to date, he just can't.

Is that what God designed for his life?  Not likely.  But it is his life and God designed things about his life and ours that we may never understand, but He gives us everything we need to get through this life in a way that is not only pleasing to Him, but glorifies Him.

And I don't think that in any way, shape or form includes competeing with other color ribbons.

I honestly am so sick of competing with other color ribbons.  My cause and my desires for change are no greater and no smaller than any other.

We need drastic change for so many people who are suffering.  And as a world we could change the lives of every single person who sufferes.

But it is not within our power.  Not ours alone.  We have to change the lives of those that are visibly suffering, as well as those whose souls are suffering through Christ alone.

Simple, but not easy.

So I'm done fighting.  Life is too short to fight.  I want to inspire.  I want to find a way to change my son's life.  I want people to help fund epilepsy research because they want to help my little boy.  That's it.

Because of the amazing child that he is, that God created him to be, we will move mountains.

We are creating a research fund in Logan's name.  It's that simple.  You donate, we funnel funds to research that will hopefully help our little boy one day.  Our prayer is absolutely to help others along the way, but we will do that by focusing on dedicated research that is targeting to those who have found no relief in the current treatments.

My precious friend Catherine posted on her blog that the fraction of people living with uncontrolled seizures is the same as it was 50 years ago, despite the development of approximately 25 new drugs.

My baby deserves better.  He deserves everything I can give him and I know I can give him more.

Will you join us?  Not because you feel guilted into it.  Not because of any other reason than you want to help him be everything in life he can be.

May God bless each of you who has never left our side, those who choose to join us today, those who do everything they can to help anyone in need - no matter the ribbon color and may He continue to bless this journey.