Devil - go home, you're not welcome here

What a week!!! I am now the mother two and one of those two is a 3 year old. When in the world did that happen?

We have been celebrating Freddie's birthday for over a week now and it still hasn't sunk in well that he is 3 years old. He's growing up so fast. We celebrated at his school on Friday with him.

Such a treat.

He invited us into his classroom - that's the deal at his school. It's his world there, not ours and we have to be invited in by him.

How cool.

We entered a quiet, anxiously awaiting group of students ages 3-6 who were all seated in a circle. Freddie then patted two chairs that were outside of the circle and said to us, "You may sit here".

So impressed.

He took his place in the circle and his teacher, Ms. Pam began to explain that it was Freddie's birthday and this was his birthday celebration. They sang a song that we were not familiar with first, but then went into the traditional Happy Birthday song, followed by Happy Birthday in Spanish.

Love it.

Next, Ms. Pam asked Freddie to pick a friend to be his "sun". After just a moment's contemplation he chose Gracie, a precious blond haired girl with a contagious smile. She took her place in the circle and Freddie was handed a globe from Ms. Pam. As Ms. Pam began to explain, Freddie was born on September 18, 2006. She showed a photo of him as she talked and then asked him to travel around Gracie with his globe. She then explained that it was one year later,the date was now September 18, 2007 (a few of the older kids joined in on the date part...they've done this before) and now Freddie was one year old. She then showed the group a photo of him when he was a year old. She did this a couple more times with a couple more photos (and a few drops of the globe...OOPS) and we arrived at September 18, 2009 and Freddie's 3rd birthday!

How sweet.

We brought treats for the class (blueberry muffins that everyone thought were cupcakes....score) that Ms. Pam and her assistant gathered. She asked Freddie to pick another friend to hand out napkins to each one of the students. Gracie again.

Smart kid.

As she handed out napkins, Freddie and Ms. Pam handed out muffins....I mean, cupcakes. After each student had their snack and Ms. Pam served Freddie, he then said to the class, "You may eat now." Are you kidding me? It was heartwarming to watch and be a part of that very special event. We're so proud of that little booger.

We also celebrated last Saturday with his friend Sydney, whose birthday is just four days before his. That was his "friend" birthday party and today we had more of the "family/neighbor" birthday party. Tons of cool new toys, a new bike

and plenty of cake and ice cream. I think we can close the boo

ks on this one. It's been a great birthday, for everyone.

Logan has had quite an eventful week as well. He's been doing well on his ACTH (steroid shot). Responding well and quickly to this particular medicine is apparently key in its success. We had a follow up appointment with Dr. Parrott, who I've grown more fond of since our first meeting, but who is completely overwhelmed in his practice. We realize this now because of our appointment with a new pediatric neurologist on Saturday. Dr. Nelson spent about an hour and a half with us, explaining everything. She reviewed Logan's MRI and explained what exactly was wrong in his little brain. She also showed diagrams of the brain and explained what she could about his seizures, spasms, medication and future. She was much more thorough and in Dr. Parrott's defense, she even mentioned that she has the luxury of time. I now feel somewhat sorry for Dr. Parrott because I think he is a great doctor, he's just overloaded which results in suffering for him and his patients. Hopefully they can get some help for him soon.

The meeting with Dr. Nelson was very informative and at the same time a little tough for me. It was the first time that Fred was really hearing any of the diagnosis from the doctor directly. For me, it was like hearing everything all over again, but this time I had just enough knowledge to make it really sink in. It was facing the fact that it's not a pretty picture, he has some serious issues that will be hard to control and manage and we have no idea what this means for him long term, but it likely isn't great. I know all of this already, but I think I've been dealing with it over time and then all at once it all comes rushing back again. It must have hit me last night because I had the first of what will likely be many breakdowns. It was 10pm and Freddie was still not asleep (an entirely different issue that we are hopefully taking care of this week), all of the bottles were dirty, we were out of formula, Logan had not taken any of his medicine for the night (3 syringes of liquids and a crushed pill in applesauce), he had not had a bath yet, the house was a wreck, there were clothes in the dryer that needed to be folded, wet clothes in the washing machine that needed to be dried, we were not ready for Freddie's party today and we were planning to go to church this morning. UGH!!!!!

I couldn't figure out where to turn. I left to get more formula and called my mom back to see how their trip to Danville went. Fast forward about an hour and a half - Nana is here, Logan has had all of his medicine, most of his bottle, he'll get his bath in the morning, Nana is going to get up with him during the night and I've finished crying on Fred's shoulder. I guess it happens to everyone from time to time, but wow. Maybe the doctor's appointment was a little more emotional than I realized.

We now have an adjusted medication schedule which is a good thing. Both Fred and I feel like the approach that Dr. Nelson takes to his medication and the adjustments we make is more common sense based. Currently he is taking the steroid shot once a day. We have started backing that down and instead of taking 6 more weeks to wean off of it, we will be off of it in about 2 weeks. Nice! He is also on 3 seizure medications - Keppra 3 times a day, Klonopin twice a day and Topamax twice a day. He takes Zantac twice a day to protect his tummy from the steroid and vitamin B6 twice a day. We have to keep a check on his blood pressure because of steroid, which is a little high right now, so we may need to add another medicine plus potassium to counter act that. Lastly, we are checking his urine each day for an increase in glucose. Luckily that has been clear. I would be a valuable asset in a pharmacy these days. Hopefully though, in about another month we will be down to only 1-2 medications a day. That would be a welcome change!!!

Logan is such a trooper. He didn't even cry this morning when we gave him his shot. In fact, he slept and cried after I was done. Must have been a hunger pain. At almost 24 pounds, the little guy is going through a can of formula in about a day and half. Diapers are disappearing fast around here too. But we'll take it if he's getting better.

Now that we have Logan somewhat settled we have scheduled for Freddie to have his tonsils and adenoids removed on Wednesday morning. I absolutely dread this for him, but I know that he will be so much better off. The poor child is not sleeping at night very well and hasn't been for some time. After 11 hours of sleep he wakes up tired. It's brutal to watch him fight sleep all day, so we will be thrilled when the surgery and recovery are behind us.

We also have a showing on the house tomorrow and an open house on Wednesday during the day for brokers. When it rains it pours!!! This is what we want, I keep telling myself.

It's been an interesting week for me spiritually as well. I have had some huge highs and some decent lows. It's funny because after mentioning the devil in the last post, I realize how hard he is working, even in our lives. Anyone who is married and/or raising children realize the work that is involved. Everyone has their issues and struggles. Ours just happen to involve a child with a fairly complicated medical condition. But, in giving so much credit to God, I failed to pay attention to how hard the devil was trying to weasel his way in. BRING IT ON!!! Logan is touching so many people with his little life and the devil is getting scared. My mom and I talked last night and it's so clear. He's going to do everything he can to drive a wedge in our family and our faith.

I have questioned why we, our family, has so much support. It's not that I don't appreciate it - that couldn't be further from the truth. It is just so amazing it's hard to explain. What in the world did we do to receive such blessings from so many people? I realize that Logan is the reason. There is something about him that makes him seem more like an angel than a child. I read this on the website of another family battling this same condition, but it's very true. It's his eyes - you can see all the way through them to his sweet little soul. And that's it. The devil is scared. He knows how special Logan is, but he had no idea that the Lord would work in our lives in such a way that Logan's story would reach so many people. Logan's story and the love and grace of God. It proves how quickly God's love can spread. And it's up to us to keep that going. I still believe that God can heal Logan if that is the plan. That simple belief, even knowing it may never happen, but the belief that God CAN is what the world needs. Anything less than that - score one for the devil.

So, we're going to continue to do our job. Sounds so simple, but I know we will stumble, fail and have to find our way over and over again. It's the human factor. But knowing is a good first step.

Time to wake Logan up from a wonderful sleep to pour more medicine down his throat and try and get him to go back to sleep. Makes no sense. But if we can hang in there a few more weeks hopefully this will all work itself back into some form of normal.

Until next time, thank you all for your continued love and support.