God is here

It's quiet as I type. Logan had his last dose of medicine for the night and he and Fred are sleeping. I'm headed there as well, but I just needed to write. It has become such a wonderful new release in my life.

As crazy as life seems right now, God is here. He's here with us and he's watching over both Freddie and Logan tonight. When the boys hopefully read this years down the road I want to be sure they know God has been here with us every step of the way.
The next steps, starting tomorrow, bring some fear, uncertainty and apprehension, but hopefully I can hand those over to God tonight in return for his peace.

God's grace, the unwavering love and support from our family and friends, and the power of prayer. There are no words to express our gratitude for these.

I know, with all my heart that God has the power to heal Logan and if that is his will we would be overjoyed. I also know that God doesn't make mistakes, so whatever is in store for our Little Logan we will follow God to carry out his plan. Either way I feel extremely blessed tonight, even as I sit in this hospital room that we have been given these two precious gifts.

With Logan's new diagnosis, infantile spasms, we are faced with a whole new set of challenges. This doesn't replace the Polymicrogyria, it's in addition to it. If I understand correctly, this is more rare than the brain malformation, but is not uncommon for children to have if they have Logan's type of brain malformation. I'm starting to grasp that this is only the beginning of this journey. But Logan has already touched so many lives. In fact, he and Freddie are impacting people who they otherwise may not have met had it not been for this experience. I pray that as things are tough from time to time, I remember to ask God to help me and our family see all of the amazing and wonderful things that are happening around us rather than spend our time focusing on those that are not so pleasant.

We're doing okay so far with taking things one day at a time. I think I may have to break that down to maybe an hour at a time as Logan starts the new medicine tomorrow. It's a pretty strong steroid that costs $32,000 a vial and he will need about 5 vials. You read that correctly, I didn't mistype. Thank the good Lord for insurance and getting through the insurance approval process. See? Blessings.

I really should try and get some sleep, I can hear Fred and my mom fussing at me now for staying up so late.

And before I'm able to finish typing, poor Logan has another seizure.

Lord please wrap him in your arms and comfort him. Bring him peace tonight.

Sweet dreams to my three boys.