The Process of Learning

Learning has always been a process.  That's nothing new. However, for whatever reason it escapes me more often than not that everything, EVERYTHING we go through in life is a learning process - whether good or bad, we learn something.

Over the last...hmmm...how long has it been since I posted?  Let's just round off to a month or so.  So, over the last month or so, life has been full of lessons. I should only speak for myself when talking about those lessons learned, but it is rare that I can talk about me, because we are a "we" in all that we do which is beyond wonderful.  So I'll speak for the whole family here and they can chime in if necessary.

We have learned that things will, most likely, never "calm down". That's life.  At least, that's our life.  And as much as I hope for some things to loosen their grip on us, as a whole I love our life. It's the lessons that I have learned from our life that make me appreciate life as a whole so much more.

We've learned that the Devil causes bad things to happen and God is the ONE who has the power, if we will let him work through us, to change the world for the better through those bad things. Period.

We've learned that as much as Logan is loved and cherished by people all over the world, NO ONE loves him more than God first and us second. Which means...we call the shots. Always. We have an amazing team of experts who work with us to make Logan's life better and for that we are unbelievably grateful. But we will always be the experts on Logan, we are still in control and we still have the final say. It may have taken a while, but it's nice to finally reach this point.

We've learned that life doesn't always go as planned.  Probably, because as much as we plan there are things for which we just can't plan. So....we have to plan to be able to adjust to the changes in our plan. Once we get more comfortable with the fact that we aren't in control anyway and hand everything back to God and trust in HIS PLAN, it's amazing how clear and beautiful life becomes. Worry and fear take a backseat. It's nice to finally reach this point too.

We've learned that staying up past a 4 year old's bedtime is so worth it when you hear "Guess what Mama? I love you. I'll be here right beside you to keep you safe."

We've learned that adjusting lunch plans can result in the most glorious and peaceful picnic on a patch of grass in a busy parking lot.

We've learned that bending the rules during dinner can spur the best combination of spontaneous belly laughter and unforgettable family time.

We've learned that discipline is quite possibly what we like least about parenting, but what is needed most.

We've learned that developing a schedule and a routine makes life easier for everyone.  And knowing when to deviate from that schedule and routine makes life better and more enjoyable.

We've learned that sometimes doing or saying nothing is worth much more than proving your point. This can apply to pretty much any situation.

We've learned to pray for guidance, trust God and follow His will.  I'm amazed at each time that I manage to somehow get those things right, everything seems easier.  I have less to worry about.  Life seems to just fall into place and I have more time to enjoy living.

This list could fill volumes - I'm sure you're not surprised.  For now, this will suffice.  At some point, it is highly likely there will be a "Things We've Learned - Volume II" list.

Now for the basic recap of the last few weeks.  Hold on tight.

Freddie and Papa have both celebrated birthdays and Fred and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary - September is a big month!  Freddie turned 4 and Papa - well, we'll just say his age is a multiple of 4.

Freddie had an awesome party and had a blast with some of his sweet little friends. I might have teared up a time or two it was just so sweet.  At one point there were about seven kids sitting on a blanket on our driveway eating cupcakes with colored icing all over....it was one of the best scenes. Here are some pictures!

Loved our Thomas cupcakes!

 "Don't worry Nana, I'll hold your hand."

Whee!!!

You should have seen her getting in! I'm keeping 

that picture hidden because I love her and value my life.

So fun!

Such a fun day complete with a blanket railroad track.

Happy Birthday Sweet Freddie!!!!!! 

They were so sweet eating their cupcakes.

He had such a great time! 

Love Mrs. Nelson!  Part of our extended family. 

This picture was just too sweet to not include!

Freddie is also love, love, loving school!  In a conversation the other day I mentioned how his teacher, Mrs. Deas loves hugs.  I then asked, "What else does she love Freddie?"  As the smile lit up his face, he very enthusiastically said, "ME!" That about sums up how school is going.  The picture below is from the first day.

He loves to smile for pictures, can you tell?

Logan has been doing pretty well lately.  Once we got over the respiratory infection he's had some good therapy sessions, tried incorporating daytime naps into the schedule (whoo hoo!) and has been, for the most part, happy and content. It's wonderful to see at least one smile a day.  

Logan's present for Freddie's birthday was a seizure free day!  We went more than 24 hours without one.  We all kept checking to make sure we hadn't missed one, but as far as we can tell it's true. We had some pretty rough ones getting to that point and we've had some rough ones since, but we'll take what we can get. We're finding, now that we are putting some things in place to help develop a better schedule for him with eating, medication and sleep, that he is doing better overall. We always knew this deep down, but that doesn't always translate into being able to make it happen.  We're getting there though.

We are also getting a stander for him, but borrowing one from our PT (love her!) until we can get one. It's vital for little ones like Logan to bear weight since they do not sit up, crawl or walk. As our sweet PT cautiously says to me, we need to avoid surgery down the road on his hips. Statements like that help to put things into perspective, which make seeing him in a contraption like that more bearable. I've included a picture. Don't let his reaction fool you...from what I understand he will learn to love it. I'm believing that, so believe it with me.

We also avoided a trip to the ER recently.  We are finally reaching the point where we know Logan and we know more what we at least need to try before going in. The feeding tube is a plus as well to keep him hydrated. Basically he reacted to oatmeal as he has done before, at least we think it was the oatmeal. Either way he was sick all weekend. He's much better now and should hopefully be 100% with eating and meds in a couple more days. 

These little guys, without a doubt, are some of the toughest beings on the planet. They have to be, I understand, but still.  So impressive.  It makes a Mama proud!

I almost forgot!  He also got his first real haircut a week or so ago. He was such a good boy. He has the most precious curls on the back of his head when he's not constantly laying on them. In an effort to not continue down the path of creating a mullet on his beautiful head, it was time to hand over the scissors to someone with more skill.  

He wasn't actually in pain, but this wasn't his favorite activity!

She did a great job!

Could...not...be...more...precious.   

Just when you think he can't get any cuter, you see him standing. 

Tears of joy from me for sure!  We will get there sweet boy, just keep fighting!

Daddy's buddy!

Just sweet.  That's all. 

Enjoying the breeze by the water.

Freddie and his daddy also had a big first together.  They camped out in the back yard in a tent!  A real, live tent! After they roasted marshmallows in a fire-pit handmade by my sweet husband and read a few books, I gave them about an hour before I was sure they would be knocking at the door to come in. It was after 7am the next morning before they came strolling in instead!  Not sure it was one of the best nights of sleep for them, but certainly one of the best memories.  So stinking cool.  I was so proud of them.

Freddie was such a huge help.  He held his flashlight as well so Fred could see.

His first bite of a roasted marshmallow. 

Boys being boys. Makes my heart happy.

Snuggling in for the night. Nana makes a mean pallet.

Night night sweet boys.

As a fresh new day unfolds. So cool.

It's often a bumpy road, this journey of ours. But the bumps create the most amazing experiences. As well as the most valuable lessons learned. Ones that seem to stay with me much longer than lessons I have learned before starting this most recent journey with my sweet boys. 

I am so thankful to God for the road he laid out for my life. I don't always understand the challenges he offers nor do I always understand the lessons I am supposed to be taking away. But I can tell you that I am finally learning that when I am able to stop panicking so much about the end result, I take the time to enjoy all the little blessings along the way. The little blessings then turn into what defines life for us which in the end becomes the most important part anyway. 

It's not about the destination. 

It's about listening to your child run up and down the hall over and over, when he's supposed to be sleeping...and finding the humor in each step. 

It's about time stopping, if only for a moment, when your angel smiles and squeals even if he's just had a terrible seizure. 

It's about those moments when you laugh until you cry about the absolute absurdity that is life sometimes. 

It's about learning to pray when you want to scream. And following God on the higher road, when everything in you wants to fight just to prove a point.

It's about taking a moment to hug your husband in the kitchen as the world seems to fall apart around you and knowing, because of that embrace, that you're going to make it.

It's about feeling the unconditional love and support of family and friends, oftentimes without the need for words.

It's about figuring out a way to make the world a better place for others, even if only in a small way. 

It's about forgetting about the destination and enjoying the journey.