Logan was smiling and laughing, talking and playing much more today. We're still at about four seizures so far for the day, but they haven't been nearly as hard on him. It's tough not to think though, that once we back down on the Klonopin, we will be back to longer and more severe seizures. It's not that the doctor didn't give us much hope, but he doesn't necessarily feel that we will find much success with any drugs.
And as I type....he's having another one.
On the max dose of two different medications, I'm feeling more confident in the neurologist's opinion. However, I know that GOD is the ultimate one who is in charge. So we will continue with the plans to try a few medications, try a diet and possibly still end up at a discussion involving surgery to remove the portion of Logan's brain that is wreaking so much havoc.
Although it's scary to think of brain surgery on your 4 month old, it's almost as brutal to try and imagine his life otherwise. The possibility of multiple medications to help control the seizures so that he can work on his development, although the medicines may or may not make him so drowsy that it's hard to work on his development. Then as he grows, changes will likely need to be made to the medications and we somewhat begin the process again. However, there is nothing to predict that any medication will work long term. So we could be years down the road and still talking about surgery - and now we are at the point where surgery may not be as successful as it would have been when he was younger. Such a roller coaster ride.
But......the peace and comfort that comes from knowing that GOD has already laid out the plan for Logan's life....it's unreal. HE already knows. All we have to do is pray, listen and follow. Granted, that is much easier said than done. But, if I keep reminding myself of that on a sometimes hourly basis, it makes putting one foot in front of the other easier.
Then there's our sweet Freddie. What a precious and amazing personality! He is so full of life, curiosity, love and energy. It is as important to us to keep our focus on his well being as it is on Logan's. We have to make sure that his normal life, which includes a brother with challenges, doesn't become anything less that everything it can be. It seems like a lot of common sense, but when the world seems to revolve around Logan it becomes so important for us to keep the consistency in Freddie's life.
And that brings us to Nana. What in the world would we do without Nana! As our dear friend Lindsey says, "Children wouldn't be bathed or fed if it wasn't for Nana!" It is so true. She has been with us almost every day since Logan was born. She has gotten up with him at night so we could sleep and simply does what needs to be done to help us keep going. And not just Nana. The business would not be where it is without Papa - who has worked in the cold and heat - and Sallie (Ga Ga)who does and has done a little of everything. Then there is Dee Dee - she keeps us going in so many ways! Her prayers, love, encouraging words and energy for Freddie. It has truly been a family effort and we could absolutely not be more blessed than to have the family we do.
We've also learned that family extends far beyond bloodlines. I have been so overwhelmed by the love and support that we have received. Not that I expected any less from our friends, but words cannot explain the outpouring of support. From prayers and messages, to meals and babysitting. Somehow others just seem to know what we need and when. I need a word for "blessed to the extreme".
Hopefully these posts will get shorter and I'll stop rambling, but I wouldn't want to make promises that I can't keep. There's just so much that runs through my brain. Hopefully rambling here will also help my brain to sleep at night....that remains to be seen.
Just like I try to every night, tonight I will thank GOD for his love and ask for patience and guidance as we are blessed with another day. And if it is his will, for Logan to be completely healed.
Now to visit with our amazing neighbors who stop by every night to check on their adopted grandson. The blessings just keep coming.
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